Random Thoughts #1

a2289375280_10I have been a hemiplegic for four years and four months already, yes that long. But even with that, I don’t expect people to understand what happened to me, but if they ask or are curious, I would be willing to share my story, di naman ako madamot. I don’t expect people to know what happened to me, friends or relatives even if I’m the most active person in Facebook, because I know that they have their own lives to mind. Case in point, two weeks ago, some relatives visited our house, I was sitting in the garage, some people say that when I don’t stand up to walk, they wouldn’t suspect that I am a disable, parts of my face might show it, yes my face is still a bit distorted, or twitched, but it’s not very obvious. Well, I didn’t stand up to welcome them, I stay seated but eventually they went in , while they were in the living room I had to go to the bathroom and as I entered the living room limping they were surprised and even asked “ o anong nangyari dito?”. Like I said, I don’t mind if they didn’t know, I didn’t take offense specially when one of them apologized and told me, “ay sorry, hindi namin alam”. They probably were expecting earlier that I should have stood up and opened the gate for them.  Tatay explained to them and told my story. Again, I will repeat, I don’t expect people to understand or even know. But of course for people who do know my story and knew what happened to me, I would be the one to have expectations. It’s not easy for me to walk in unfamiliar surroundings, I don’t like to go to places that have not been inspected prior, ayoko ng nangangapa, I want to know if there are ramps, stairs or distant parking spaces, or if there’s even a parking for that matter.  It’s not easy to walk in even surfaces, much so in sloping floors. Nanay would always tell me to go to church and hear mass but I explained to her that with all the slopes in the church it’s a herculean task for me, actually I could try if I want to but what I fear the most is twisting my ankle, I’m already disabled, magiging double disabled pa?

I have so many fears. Being in my body, have I told you it’s difficult? To reach for something on the floor is very difficult but I can do it, I have the will, I have the power, if I set my mind to do something I will do it, hindi ako pabebe. 3 years ago I thought it would be impossible to get rid of my nurse but I have been bothered by the bills we have to pay, so to get rid of the nurse, I have to be able to do things on my own I need to be able to give myself a proper bath, I need to be able to feed myself, yes, like going to the kitchen getting my mug and prepare coffee, getting a plate, heat my bread and eat on my own. Taking a bath is not so difficult but getting dressed is. I had to watch you tube videos on how to wear brassiere with one working arm, happily I can report that yes, I can do it already. Of course you already know that I can cook and bake, but mind you, it’s with an assistant, and without her, sorry to say I can’t and wouldn’t be able to do it, that’s why I’m super grateful for the presence of Del, our house help. I can also clean our house on my own when Del isn’t around, I can sweep the floor and mop afterwards. Ohh how liberating it is to talk about the things that one can do. I don’t want to think about the things I cannot do. I will just focus on those that I can. But people drag you down sometimes. I have said that I don’t expect people to know and understand what happened to me, I mentioned it probably ten times already. But I also said that for those people who do know, I expect more, that’s why it hurts to know that some people perceive me as a snob just because I don’t approach them to have conversations, did I mention it’s not easy to walk? Do I need to be the one to go to you and kiss your ass? Mygahd. I hate drags. When I was living normally, I mean, back in the day when I was still normal, I am the most misunderstood person. I don’t blame people to think that way, because being me is truly polarizing. I cannot say that I have changed positively, but I am constantly trying. I try to compensate for those things that I cannot do. Say, I cannot go to you to mingle or build, or rebuild relationship or friendship, I will find a way to do so. Something that I’m probably good at.so don’t you even say that I’m not trying because you know that I do try, and sometimes, I try so hard, bordering on OA. Honestly, there are times when I don’t even want to try anymore. When that time comes, I hope to God, you remember.

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Not a Parental Advice

To say that “raising” millennial kids these days is difficult is an understatement. You see, we could list a lot of things that makes parenting them tiresome and hard but i don’t want to go into that. Everything is hard period. that we have to face every single day.  So instead of going all shrink-like , I just want to make a suggestion of the things I do to make it easy to manage them. I have a 7-year-old and a 9-year-old who makes it their past time to fight all the time and finds immense satisfaction in telling me that they are bored. I realized back when I was their age I never bugged my parents about getting bored, instead i look for ways to entertain myself and make time fly, specially during the long hot summer days. These days they are so damn lucky having to go on out-of-town trips every summer sometimes more than twice. I can’t blame my parents for not being able to do that for us  back in the day, but hey, i never complained. I’m fine with our Betamax playerbetamax

 

(hindi VHS ha!) (with the fancy rewinder):)

)rewinder

🙂 and ogling at our cousins’ Atari next door watching them play  Pacman, Donkey Kong, Galaga and Pinball for hours, yes just watching.atari

Or maybe listening to our old trusty component and recording my voice on the cassette tape singing Air Supply or Francis M. See?, growing up in the 90’s is fun! specially  playing Langit Lupa, Patintero and Chinese garter outdoor .Now, they have Ipads flat screen TV’s with cable signal ,PS3’s ,Netflix,  Facebook! for crying out loud! and they still get bored! Of course, being the responsible parent we have to limit their screen times, I only give them a budget of 3 hours every week and only during Fridays and Saturdays, they have to decide if they want to consume all the 3 hours in one day or divide it in 2 days, up to them, generous na ko ng lagay na yan ah. And I’m happy that they don’t complain since they got used to it since I trained them for that beginning at an early age.

So going back to the activities, I tried teaching them some of the games the easy ones  like Taguan pong, Langit Lupa and Dr. Kwak Kwak. the rest were taught in school under MAPEH. but  others can be viewed on YouTube like these games:

PATINTERO:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hj8CRJXkgA

TUMBANG PRESO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTQUF0huAbY

But lately, since its been raining most days and they are tired when they arrive home from school we just watch good old-fashioned movies from the 80’s and the 90’s. I really do think its great  for them to at least see how things are back then even just through old movies, and kse po ang hirap mag explain at magdescribe ano ba itsura ng  mga desktop computers dati, and the only adjective that works for me is Jurassic, and they’re not familiar with that yet. And lets face it, kids are visual learners, they will only listen for 5 minutes and their mind would wander off to lalaland, so why not capitalize on that visual aspect? We have been doing this for almost 2 weeks already and I can say that its kinda successful. you get to bond with them, educate them and they look forward to going home  and spending time with you every day!

The movies we have already watched are the following:

  1. et
  2. batteries not incl
  3. MV5BOTQ1NTg4MDAtOGU0OS00ZGQwLTliZjQtNDEzZjAzZGI5MjFjXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNTI4MjkwNjA@._V1_UY1200_CR90,0,630,1200_AL_
  4. Honey_I_blew_up_the_kid_film_poster
  5. Parenttrapposter
  6. 220px-Richierichposter
  7. index
  8. big-movie-poster-1988-1010486510Forrest
  9. Speed_movie_poster
  10. american tail
  11. 51R1AD1Y6AL._SY445_

 

And our list is not yet done as we still have the following to watch:

  1. The Little Rascals
  2. Splash
  3. The Secret Garden
  4. Casper
  5. Problem Child
  6. Back to the Future
  7. Babe
  8. Addams Family
  9. Lady and the Tramp

There, I hope that helps you a little,feel free to add more titles on the list. Happy watching! Don’t forget the popcorn!

 

Change

change-quotes

I used to not care at  all. Way back 2012 I was  living a very comfortable life, I have a successful career, i am earning  enough that I could afford the things I want, We  have travelled out of the country once, We can afford out-of-town vacations for our small family. Back then I couldn’t care less about the political environment of our country because I believe that for  as long as I and my husband  work hard we could provide for our family and have a little excess for leisure here and there. But accidents happen, and it is something we cannot really foresee and avoid , and yes, after that very unfortunate experience I am still alive to see things unfold in my country and in my own backyard. And it has changed my views entirely. I have become more practical, prudent, resourceful, vocal and super emotional. I have become in touch with the reality of the government’s role in each and every lives of Filipinos  specially those living in the poverty line.God has bestowed me with a generous family and with that we have managed to continue living comfortably, although it is still  a struggle, it is not as difficult as compared to others who really  can’t even afford to eat twice in a day. That is why I am very passionate and vocal about the support I give our current government because, honestly, I have seen real and dramatic change already, only those who are blinded cant see  that,  rather refuse to see that.I have been thinking of ways on how I could help even in my own little way, help our country, help our fellow Filipinos. believe it or not I cry at every indignation i encounter even just on social media.just this morning I shed a tear and my heart bled on the story of the 2 old T’boli farmer Renato and Amiya who escaped the cruelty of Hacienda Luisita.

tboliThese farmers left Mindanao on the promise of a good wage in return for working at Hacienda Luisita. But unfortunately nothing of that sort happened, they were not fed, they were overworked, they were not even compensated. I was so angry hearing their story that I wanted to smash Kris and NoyNoy’s face together until they bleed, isama mo na si Bambini.

Back to my previous thought of thinking of ways to help our country. Well, about a month ago I launched our small business Kali’s Kitchen, no this is not a plugging. I have always thought of having a business and it always gravitated towards food, retail and service, because its something I’m good at (self-proclaimed) haha. I actually wanted my own cafe and believe it or not I have all the plans, idea, concept, all that, ang wala lang ako ay pera. But I know in my heart mangyayari yun, hindi man ngayon, maybe in 10 years? 15 years? basta, bago ako mamatay mangyayari yun. So since, nag iipon pa ko ng pera for my cafe I will focus on making Kali’s Kitchen successful.And in my own little way I know that I am contributing to my country by patronizing fresh produce of our kababayan farmers .We buy from the market the vegetables i use for my products and the tuyo as well of our beloved fisherfolks. At least kahit sa maliit na paraan nakakatulong sa kanila. I mean I could go back to selling imported goods  (bags,perfume) which I used to do since its also easier to do and has a higher profit .Honestly, making bottled tuyo and atchara is a really tiring thing to do, specially with one hand , at the end of the day I am left with a sore  shoulder and an aching back  but all of those things seemed trivial when I receive positive feedback from those who have tried the products.Actually, I have sold  a lot already but
I have yet to see any profit since I’m selling it at  a very modest price.Sometimes I’m thinking itutuloy ko pa ba? (sorry, this is the pms talking). Pero talaga this early naiisip ko yun.

But when I think about the impending school year keber na lang sa pagod at puyat. tuloy natin to.I cant give up this early parang tanga ko naman. haay nawala na yung train of thought ko shet, I cant even relate my post dun sa title na nilagay ko enebeyen. Pasensya na po, at 1:27pm hindi pa nag breakfast sabaw pa ang utak at ayan inaantay ako ng ginagawa ko.

tuyo

Ayan I remembered it na, After experiencing something really dramatic you get in touch with your humanity that really, when you think-  you think not only for yourself but you think of others as well. would you believe it? I have become patriotic that even listening to Lupang Hinirang makes my eyes water, I know drama right?

Change has indeed come upon me.and I will not top saying whats in my mind and in my heart marindi man kayo sakin.So please yung mga sumusubok idestabilize ang gobyernong ito makakarma kayo! ‘itaga nyo yan sa bato! Tutubuan ng kulani buong katwan nyo mga leche kayo!Hindi ako makakasama sa rally pero hindi ako titigil murahin kayo at isumpa mga pinaggagagawa nyo! Yun lang! Bye!

 

 

 

 

Mind Your Manners

index

I usually enjoy going to the mall, now that’s an understatement. I love going to the mall, and back in the day I even enjoy going to the mall by my lonesome. I can even watch a movie by myself. I enjoy eating in a restaurant, happily people-watching, sipping coffee in a corner booth, contemplating my next steps, drafting my future. Yes, I know, boring, but being the introvert that I am, you cannot wholly explain the satisfaction that you get with being alone. It’s not like I hate being around people. Well I sometimes do with all honesty, especially with people I don’t particularly like. And I actually hate myself for being too transparent with my feelings.  I don’t hold back with letting them feel my indifference (bitch I know). What can I do?  Well, that’s not the purpose of this post actually. I am writing about my change of heart with regards to going to the mall.  When before I used to enjoy it tremendously, now I would really think many times over if I would go,  for a variety of reasons. First and foremost I have to check if the mall is PWD-friendly.  Near us, it’s Ayala Fairview Terraces which  fits this requirement. But I have reservations with that recently since AFT is slowly becoming a ghost town with shops closing because of probably lack of sales.  A mall with shops discreetly covered with wood boards is not a pretty sight. So I go back to choosing SM, with its crowded mall filled with undisciplined shoppers. I have had many experiences with SM mall shoppers who don’t feel the need to extend basic courtesy to people like me. There was an instance I was just in a  cane in the grocery when a young big guy who was obviously goofing around with his friends bumped into my then skinny frame (yes, I was skinny back then), I almost fell to the floor with the impactof his chubbiness  and I did not even heard him apologize, it’s like nothing happened while his friends continue to laugh like hyenas (insert angry emoticon).

That is why I really appreciate SM’s initiative to educate mallgoers with basic mall etiquette. The videos which have been shared minimally by netizens, can be found in YouTube but I’m posting it here too. Netizens unfortunately don’t find it too important to be shared, they would rather share obscene videos or pictures of guys with muscular behinds or political memes maligning our president.

I believe it’s now time for Filipinos to be disciplined  in many areas and the “lakwatserong Pinoy should start with mall etiquette, who knows maybe when we’re adept with this we could next master traffic etiquette or  maybe fine dining etiquette? now that’s rubbing it too much

ELEVATOR ETIQUETTE

elevators in malls are small as it is and very few, what i don’t understand is why is it that  people who are very much “able” feel the need to scramble their way into an elevator with very prominent signs indicating giving priority to elderly, pregnant, those with kids on a pram and  handicapped people.Another thing i noticed is kids – giggling teenagers do not show courtesy at all and acts with a no-nonsense attitude when riding a lift. that is why i really think this topic should be included in the curriculum as early as in  grade school, or is it already there? i dont know.  back when i was still “normal” not once did i use an elevator in the mall i just find it too slow. i used it when i was with the kids pushing a pram

here is SM’s video of Elevator etiquette, by the way ate girl really did a great job!  although im just curious if she lost her voice after shooting all the videos , high-pitched e

Last Saturday we went to SM and after more than a week of  having the videos uploaded online, there was no effect whatsoever with mallgoers behaviour as evidence of the pics i took. Just look how crowded that lift is , and the number of able-bodied peeps far outweigh those whom they should give priority to. Oh well discipline folks! discipline! obviously my wheelchair can’t fit right? so we had to wait for  quite a long time before we could ride.

elevator-din

ESCALATOR ETIQUETTE

We were really amazed by how disciplined Singapore people were when we went there 4 years ago. I got a first-hand take on escalator etiquette when we literally scourge the malls of the city. back then I thought, this is really an awesome idea and how i wish we could do this in the Philippines. i didn’t  think it was too difficult to implement , but boy i was wrong. the clingy Pinoys cant seem to unlock their arms with their lovers albeit for a few minutes going up or down an escalator not minding those who are in a hurry behind them. keber ang mga lola mo.  not even with very prominent signs displayed  by the foot of the escalator

escalator-sign

here’s the SM video of escalator etiquette, please do watch and understand, pretty please. i long to see this being applied at least before i die, chos. nagsusumamo lang

And here is the situation in reality: going down the two guys seem to know the rule, or maybe because there weren’t too many people . the escalator ascending is a different story, just look at them  all twinning.

escalator

Lastly, SM also did a

PARKING ETIQUETTE video which i think was really great because they emphasized on the need to not use the designated parking slot for PWD  when you’re not really a PWD . unless of course you want to be :]

well that s it. now that the cat is out of the bag  I hope we could all take our sweet time educating ourselves for the benefit of those who need our courtesy  while we’re at the mall. Lastly, thanks SM!

My Love Affair with Books

I am a book worm. My love affair with reading started when I was 3 years old. I owe this to my Tame;tame

Tita Mary is my paternal aunt. She stayed with us while she was studying BS Education at PNU. I believe we (my sisters and I) were her first students. She was diligent and by the time I was 4 I can already read, write and do math. That is why upon reaching 5 years old I was already in Grade 1. I can never thank her enough for instilling my passion for learning. I was born in Tondo Manila. And we stayed there until I was 6 years old. Tondo to many is a chaotic place, that is true, that is why Tatay, worked really hard to be able to afford transferring to QC where we can live more peacefully, but Tondo is where I started to enrich my passion for reading, who would’ve thought? I remember there’s an old house in Tello St. the house is located in a dark alley, smelly and dirty, there are drug addicts lurking in corners but I seemed to be oblivious to them. I would run to that alley clutching the coins I collected, run up the old wooden rickety stairs to reach my destination. This old house rents comics and I delight in the comics laid out on the table. I love the smell of the paper and I would spend a while choosing my read for the day. You might be thinking what kind of comics, well; I was only 4years old then. And my favourite that time was Funny Comics.

funny comics I love Niknok and planetPlanet of the Apes. So there, those were my first exposure to reading.
Tame may have taught me to read but I know I inherited my love for reading from Tatang,tatang my paternal grandfather. Tatang can read just about anything he can lay his hands on, and he can read for hours only stopping to eat and probably to go to the restroom. I remember he even reads my collection of Sweet Valley High and Sweet Dreams books. It doesn’t matter what genre just as long as it’s on paper and has words, he’ll read it.
In high school, my best friend Fiona and I would spend a lot of our time in the library and there I started to like reading Nancy Drew. By the time we’re done with 2nd year I was able to read all the Nancy Drew books in our library. This eventually proved to be valuable in my professional career as I did a lot of sleuthing and was able to catch a lot of thieves. I graduated from Nancy Drew and moved on to more mature suspense-mystery novels. In college I delved into reading Sheldon and Grisham. I loved it a lot that I vowed to myself I would collect all Sheldon books and I was able to achieve that. The books are now safely tucked in my book shelf waiting to be read by my kids hopefully when they grow up.
After graduating from the university I landed a job and since I’m not into the social scene I prefer to stay at home, read and be alone, the introvert that I am. My salary would be spent on books and during those times I would be eagerly waiting for the release of the Harry Potter books. I would buy the hard bound ones and I remember going to National Bookstore to be enlisted on their reservation sheet. On the first day of release I would be there eagerly waiting for my copy, not minding the cost. I recall it was worth above Php1000 to which I don’t care. Upon reaching my seat on the bus I would start to read, only stopping when prodded by the bus conductor. After Harry Potter I moved on to reading Tolkien and even that I splurge on.
Somebody urged me to try reading one novel, but I really never got the hang of it. I even bought it to her insistence. She wouldn’t stop bugging me about it until I bought it and she borrowed it and never returned the book I never finished on reading. She said it was really good and it was in her most favourite movie. It was Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Love in the Time of Cholera. I know it’s a classic and highly acclaimed, very intellectual, but it didn’t float my boat. I guess, it’s really to each his own. But still would love to have it back. We parted not in good terms so I guess shell never return it anymore.
Now, as much as I would love to read an actual book I it’s proving to be a lot difficult so I opt to read using my ipad. Currently, I’m reading George RR Martin’s Game of Thrones collection. Using my Good reads app. I can discover new authors and I have found to like Patterson, Emily Griffin and a lot more. I know I have passed on this passion to my kids because now you’ll often find them huddled in their room reading a book their Ate Mikee and Lola Cel sent. Kali is now reading A Diary of a Wimpy Kid, while my little boy is still on the nursery rhyme stuff, which is still exceptional.