I must admit that there are still days I would be so down that I cry buckets. I wonder how big my tear ducts must be   I must have cried a dozen or so since last year. The reason for my tears? Well, I feel that as time goes by, people, especially friends seem to have for gotten that I still exist. Then I realized what do we really mean by the word “friend” dictionary define this word by: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

Okay, so I still don’t get it. I don’t think friendship should be defined any way. The word only begins to have meaning if we become one for another person.  So now the question is: how do we become a friend to another? Does it mean constant phone conversations? Facebook messages? Text messages? Lunch and dinner outings? Out of town gatherings, incessant laughters on sleep overs? Being given a friendship bracelet or ring, like you need constant reminder that there is somebody who will always be there to catch you when you fall. Or when you just happen to forgot your wallet and you got nothing to pay for your dinner in that expensive restaurant.

Exactly half a year ago (how time flies!)When I had the bleed, every day I would receive text messages asking how I was, or Facebook messages with words of encouragement from people I do consider as friends. Weeks went by and the messages continued on but became sort of a trickle. It was like draught on a summer season. It was during a point in my life I needed support that true friends begin to sprout, some visited to actually see how I was doing. Or how I was coping. And it meant so much to me. It was like a ray of sunshine in my now bleak world. I know the real world is tough I have experienced it first-hand.  I know there are responsibilities to be carried out, opportunities that can’t be missed, but there are also golden moments waiting to happen. The most painful truth I still find difficult to digest is the broken promises delivered. Like you were made to hang on a cliff. By people you really feel would be there for you no matter what, because there was a time you were there for them when they needed you.

To those who came to my side I really appreciate the effort and to those who didn’t I don’t take it against you. I understand. it’s just so hard to be here it’s not something I would wish to happen even to a mortal enemy. I wish I could have someone I could share this emotion with. And I am grateful that my husband fills in and exceeds my expectation he is my best friend, my my high school friends Pia, Fiona,and  Voogie, thanks for remembering and for lifting me up. Your messages have been a fountain of hope and even if almost 20 years has passed you didn’t forget. It is a mark of true friendship. I believe that even years can’t take away the solidarity and true meaning of the word, nor distance.


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